This past January, I sent out a New Year’s card because a Christmas card just didn’t come together in time. My sister got married in early December, and then our second son Shepherd was born on December 17––so we had just a few things on our plate. After Shepherd was born, I put together a New Year’s card with a picture of our family of three-turned-four on it and included a verse on the back that felt New Year’s-y. It was Isaiah 43:19: “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”
Welp. That was the last time I’ll randomly pick a Bible verse and stick it on a card. All jokes aside, I don’t think it was a coincidence I chose that verse to use on that card. Because just about the time those cards were hitting mailboxes, we were hit with some shocking news: our perfect, three-week-old baby Shepherd was deaf.
Something new had begun, but we couldn’t see it yet.
We began a journey of hearing tests and MRIs, hearing aids and sign language. It was scary at first, but day after day, we realized that deafness wasn’t something to fear and mourn but a beautiful part of life to embrace, an exciting adventure to embark upon, and a new culture to appreciate.
Something new had begun, but we couldn’t see it yet.
I decided to stay home from work (after swearing I’d never do that) so that I could manage Shepherd’s appointments and therapy, teach myself and both boys sign language, and keep our family from suffocating under piles of laundry. Pierce continued at his still-new job, and I learned to keep a baby and a toddler quiet enough for his Zoom meetings.
Something new had begun, but we couldn’t see it yet.
Sometime in March, I started writing again. After months of not having the energy or, quite frankly, the desire to pick up a pen or click-clack on a keyboard, I suddenly couldn’t get the words down fast enough. I wrote blogs, poems, prayers, and the first chapters of approximately seven books. And, I wrote children’s books featuring deaf characters that I one day hoped to read to Jessen and Shepherd.
Something new had begun, but we couldn’t see it yet.
Amidst my writing frenzy, I started to pursue what it would look like to publish a book. Since I was a nerdy library volunteer in elementary school, I’ve wanted to be a children’s author… just never thought it was in the cards for me. But one thing led to another and, long story short (pun intended), my first children’s book is coming out later this fall featuring––you guessed it––a little deaf boy named Shepherd.
Something new had begun, but we couldn’t see it yet.
Now it’s nearly September. Deaf Awareness Month. Shepherd is having cochlear implant surgery this month, which will allow him to access spoken language even as we continue with sign language. My book is going on pre-order later this fall. Our family is stronger, more resilient, more aware than ever before.
Something new has indeed begun. And we are starting to see it.
When I think about what life looked like a year ago compared to now, the difference is laughable. Or, maybe a better word is miraculous. God brought our family into a new season we didn’t think we were ready for, didn’t think we were called to, and he said, “Don’t you see it? I am making a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”
Honestly, I still don’t see all of it yet. I don’t know if I will this side of heaven. But I’m seeing a lot clearer than I did in that ENT office in January when our world was flipped upside down, and I thought things would never be the same again. Turns out, they wouldn’t be the same again. And I’m so grateful for it.
1 Corinthians 13:12: “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”